What I Learned About Branding from Online Dating

Every story requires a strong narrator and branding does too. One of the unexpected places I learned the most about effective storytelling and how to develop a brand persona was my recent journey in the online dating world.

Branding, like online dating, can be intimidating. Putting yourself or your company’s brand out there for the world to see often leaves you thinking: “Will I attract the people I want to reach?” Before you let your imposter syndrome get the better of you, consider a few of these tips to bolster your confidence:

 

Make sure your visuals and words tell a story

A great dating profile for me is all about photos and descriptions that give an inside look at who you are as a person. Sounds complicated, but there’s a way to keep it simple.

When setting up my profile, I shared photos of myself on hikes, cuddling with my sister’s dog Pelé, and at a Jigsaw Puzzle Competition. If I didn’t have the photos I needed, all I had to do was ask friends and family for their selections.

Bios can be the most stressful part of setting up a dating profile, which is why I asked my Bumble BFF connection Emyli for some help. From her dating coach expertise, I found ways to share my values, favorite foods, music, and hobbies. As a social media content producer, I’ve also learned how to share about myself with limited characters.

 

Your company’s branding should make the same considerations. How do you feel or think when looking at certain colors and fonts? What reaction do you get from the sentences in a newsletter or words on an ad? How your brand presents itself says a lot about you as an organization and what you value.

This is true not only for your fonts, colors, and logos, but also for your content. Branding is more than your logo. It’s also the story you tell with your content. From my current and past roles at non-profit arts organizations, I’ve seen how behind-the-scenes, User-Generated Content (UGC), and value-driven materials can set the scene for an impactful story about who your company is and the audiences you want to engage with.

 

Have a solid understanding of who you are and what you want

For most people, online dating is either about finding their dream partner and future spouse or the latest hookup. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center study, 44% of users seek a long-term partner and 40% are looking to date casually.

Scrolling through many dating profiles, I found people were not shy about what they wanted from online dating. As someone who is open to meeting people and seeing whether or not a spark was there, I appreciate honesty over whether or not someone wanted a serious partner, casual fling, ethical non-monogamous or polyamorous relationship, or had the same goals as I did.

Honesty is also a big part of your business’ branding. Before I began working for a Shakespeare festival, the company rebranded to reflect the organization’s major changes. In order to reassure audiences who were hesitant about updates to the company’s venues and future, they provided an honest and engaging story on how they were evolving.

When I began working with the company a year later, we received audience complaints over the lack of greenery in our new venues and their dislike of moving the theater. We took the time to listen and craft an honest story about how we were improving our spaces to make it feel like home. As I developed a storyboard, I took the time to show what we were doing to transform these spaces and used a creative brief to outline what we hoped to accomplish with our efforts. By taking the time to listen and be honest about where we were going, our audiences had a clearer picture of what to expect and what we wanted next for the company and our customers.

 

Your persona isn’t for everyone–and that’s OK

The first time scrolling through online dating profiles was one of the most surreal experiences I’ve ever had. How would I know if I have chemistry with someone based on a few photos and short Q&As? What if I was interested in someone but they didn’t feel the same way? What if someone reached out to me but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to connect with them? Rejection of any kind sucks. How could I do that to someone else?

Stressing myself over these questions got me nowhere. Instead, I decided to not let myself dwell on a particular person. Each day for 3 months I committed to checking my profile once a day for 15 minutes with the goal of messaging at least one person. It wasn’t always easy, but not putting all of my hopes on one person helped ease my anxiety.

The reality is that not everyone will be into me. As hard as that can be to digest, why would I want someone to be with me who felt lukewarm about me? I’d rather be with someone who has a mutual attraction to me than indifference.

You can apply the same idea to your company’s brand. Not everyone will resonate with your brand’s style, tone, or character. Disney’s imaginative and playful persona most likely won’t attract someone who’d prefer an edgier, rebellious persona like Harley Davidson. Trying to make your brand everything to everyone leads to confusion and audiences’ short attention spans won’t stay around for long to figure it out.

Finding ways to connect with more specific audiences is a part of my work with a cashew brand. While running the company’s digital ads, I’ve seen how many more clicks and results we gain by highlighting specific features and targeting keywords for Whole30, keto and paleo-friendly, and vegan. Targeting ads to these niche communities goes much further in today’s world–just ask Gen Z.

 

Don’t take rejection personally

In my attempts to send many messages in the hopes of connecting with people, it could be disheartening to receive nothing in return. Getting the cold shoulder or having someone cut off the conversation after a couple of messages went from disappointing to frustrating. How was I supposed to meet anyone at all if people continued to delete their profiles, became silent, or stopped our conversation out of nowhere?

Going through this cycle is overwhelming, which is why I came to the realization that someone may stop messaging me because of things beyond my control. Maybe they got busy and decided they wanted to date but didn’t have time. Or, maybe they decided online dating wasn’t for them. Whatever the reason, agonizing over why and what I might have done made the situation worse.

@rossella_rago It’s complicated, amore 🇮🇹💋🤌🏻 #RossellaSays @Francis Ford Coppola Winery 🍷 #Fy #foryou #fyp #dating #foryoupage #foryourpage #coppolawine #coppolawines #datingin2022 ♬ original sound - Rossella

When inquiries don’t turn into customers or a lead doesn’t turn into a loyal fan, it can be difficult for your brand. It’s important to take the time to address criticism or understand why someone didn’t choose your brand’s product or services, but it’s also good to not overanalyze. There is only so much your company can do to turn interest into a purchase, RSVP, or referral.

Working in the arts, I experience this frequently. It’s important to remember that when audiences don’t like a specific exhibition or performance, it doesn’t mean the company is a failure. Factors like timing, finding parking, and nearby activities to do before or after play a big role into whether or not people decide to visit. It’s not always personal.

 

Online isn’t the only way people meet you

There’s a common perception that online dating is the only way you’ll meet someone. According to The Cut’s recent survey of 1,232 people, 78% of respondents have used dating apps to meet a partner. But how successful are they in meeting the one? Even though I’ve heard positive stories, only 8.5% of respondents in this survey married someone they’ve met on an app. Another study shows that couples who meet on apps are more likely to divorce early.

The reality is that dating is not easy in today’s world whether you meet online or in person. Most people report being ghosted on dating apps (78%) and bad experiences have led almost over half of adults to never use a dating app again.

From my own personal experience and hearing others’ stories, I’m not the only one who has been ghosted, zombied, or misled. Many times people have stopped talking to me after one message or deleted their profile after asking multiple times if I want to meet in person.

Dating apps aren’t a foolproof way to meet someone who won’t get cold feet or guarantee that they’re single. They’re one way for you to meet people, not the only way. In fact, most men aren’t looking to date. They’re looking to make friends.

The digital world also isn’t the only place audiences get to know your brand. While there is a lot of weight on social media, websites, and email to generate interest and conversions, people also experience your brand in other ways.

How they interact with your customer service team over the phone or sales employee in your physical store gives them a certain perception about your brand’s persona. My previous work in retail gave me an inside look at how much a company curates its brand image from signage to shelf displays to mannequin styling. Every visual was set up to present the brand in a specific way.

In the end, customers may not remember if their first interaction with your brand was online or in-person. They won’t care if your brand makes a reference to The Office or thinks it’s acceptable to have pineapple on pizza like most online dating profiles. What they’ll remember is how whether or not your company’s product sparked something and how your brand made them feel when your sales employee asked, “How is everything going? How can I help you?”

 

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Person sitting on their bed looking at a phone as they twirl their hair in one hand. Above them are the words: What I Learned About Branding from Online Dating.
 

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